Thank you very much for taking the time to join us Armand.
Thanks for having me!
1. What are your expectations for your latest book?
More money than I can spend, flashy cars and houses, chicks with big butts in thongs wandering around my palatial estate… actually, realism. I want any and all of my books to build my brand, add to the choices for readers, and keep people actually reading my work happy and wanting even more.
2. As an Indy writer, watching the trends, what do you think Indies fail to do that the Big 6 do for their authors?
Give an author instant street cred. There is still such a dismissive attitude from people about being indy and self-published, and so many readers won't bother checking you out. They only read the latest King or Patterson, anyway. They want names, not to find new names to love. Other than that… you can argue this all day. I do what I do because I love the challenge, and I love being my own boss.
3. When did you first consider yourself a writer?
A writer? When I was 12 and started writing crappy Koontz rip-offs. I didn't consider myself an Author until Sam's Dot Publishing released Death Metal in January 2009. I felt like I'd arrived at this point, and it sparked me to keep it going for me.
4. Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
I love receiving pictures of their big asses in thongs, but the guys need to stop sending them, too… except you, Mark. I actually just want to thank everyone who's ever read one of my stories, whether you loved it or hated it, because you took the time to read what I'd created. I love when a reader reads their first story from me and then goes out and keeps reading my backlog of releases.
5. If you couldn’t be an author, what would your ideal career be?
I would have a career in baseball, playing left field (and batting cleanup) for the Boston Red Sox. And the only thing keeping me from this dream is my age… and my body shape… and my crummy health, and work ethic, and workout routine… and I'd ask to be paid in M&M's…
6. Do you have any writing rituals?
I don't even bother writing a word until the coffee kicks in. By about the third sip I'm fully awake and raring to go. I am also a creature of habit, so once I establish a routine (place, time, pens in a certain formation) I dive in and hit my daily goal about 99% of the time.
7. What would be your dream vacation and why?
A writing vacation, of course… alone in a cabin in Maine, three feet of snow outside, fireplace going, all the food and water already in the house (bags of M&Ms and Arnold Palmer tea only)… and a comfy couch so I can 'think' with my eyes closed.
8. When you have finished writing for the day and need to wind down what do you do as a hobby?
I go out and eat way too much. I am constantly in motion, as my Foursquare profile can attest to. I never watch TV but I am always close to my Kindle or a book. I am surrounded by some truly great and inspirational friends, so we talk and have a laugh constantly.
9. What is the strangest thing a fan has ever sent you.
There is a certain female fan out there (who found me thanks to reading Mark Tufo's Zombie Fallout series, ironically) who bought all my print books and then took a few, um, pictures of her and the books and her nice big ass in a thong… so, keep up the good work, Mark! And I need to finish more print books.
10. What is the one thing you wish someone would ask you and the answer?
The obvious: How is it humanly possible you can be so damn sexy and cute and funny and perfect? The obvious answer: I just am. I just am.
Thanks for the fun, Mark!
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